Update to my blog for all but none of my blog readers! Today is Monday afternoon, 4:41 P.M. I have started two trends (okay, habits) since my last post. This October I started studying at this Starbucks location that is actually kind of far (12 minutes I think) from my apartment complex. I enjoy the environment inside, though. Many a hardwood table on which to actually be productive. I get more done than I do in my room, that's for sure. The second trend I started for myself is being unapologetic about loving chai. It is a safe alternative to coffee for myself, particularly because the caffeine content does not put me on edge like coffee does.
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| I never knew how good crack was until I tasted it |
In other news, the month of August was marked by struggle and sadness carried over from the summer and spring prior. I need to remediate the Cardiology exam now, in addition to remediating the Infectious Disease course. The month of September was marked with wins: I started therapy, was more diligent in my studies, and passed all four of my final exams that month. I am currently in my final exam week for October. I have struggled more with my mental health and focus this month compared to September, but I would say it has not been as bad as August. Once this week is over, I will take my last term of classes ever as a student.
Okay, slight lie, since I actually will be taking a remedial course in January/February and a remedial exam during that time as well. However, I am so close to finishing. I used to feel sadness that I was going to stop being a student and have to "join the real world", but honestly that thought makes me cackle. I will absolutely not miss being a student, at least in medicine. I miss the version of myself I used to be: diligent, hardworking, persistent, tenacious, and most of all, persevering. Obsessed? Perhaps. But I had excellent grades. Learning for learning sake is a passion I lost. I am going to attribute that to loneliness and especially to burnout. My lack of discipline and study habits certainly exacerbated this issue this year. But you know what? I am going to look up, keep my head held high, and persevere.
